My Day Behind Bars – & what we can do to help the men
I couldn’t believe the sheer courage & vulnerability. In rap verse, a San Quentin inmate poured out his longing for his true love – and his trust that she would come to him. Despite the fact that he’s incarcerated. And, I’d guess, probably for life. Many of us sat quietly weeping. And not just for this man, but for all imprisoned men, whose options are severely limited. And even for ourselves. Because who among us has not longed for the beloved & felt it might be as impossible a thing to happen as if we were in jail?
For two hours on Oct 17, people on the outside united with people on the inside through our sheer humanity as we participated in Parallel Play, a performance by incarcerated individuals & several drama therapy students from the California Institute of Integral Studies, held in the San Quentin chapel & directed by Marin Shakespeare Company’s Suraya Keating. My friend Devaa Haley Mitchell also works regularly with the fall production and helped with the music. Brava, Suraya & Devaa!
As many of you know, back in May, Seven Sisters Mystery School organized the San Quentin Healing Ceremony & Newspaper Fundraiser, an event that had people on the outside sending healing energies to people on the inside (and, in some cases, vice versa) in a synchronized meditation out on Ring Mountain in Tiburon, CA. Oct 17 was my first opportunity to actually set foot inside the prison & personally connect with some of the men.
Hungry for Anything
Everything I’d been told was true: The “Men in Blue” – a dress coding designating the “lesser security risk” men – were incredibly polite & hungry for contact, feedback, witnessing, friendship. Those performing & in the audience eagerly reached out for conversation. Their eyes were brightly lit, as though encountering a long lost favorite aunt.
It was clear that some of them had done profound inner work & had become, as my colleague AshEl Eldridge puts it, “gurus.” They carried serious wisdom, tempered through the cauldron of hell, something no one could take away from them now. Many of them were doing consciousness raising & social justice activism from within prison walls. Yes, they were mostly men of color, and this gashed my heart in a particularly deep way. Whatever their background, I kept thinking how devastated their mothers must be.
Revealing Scenes
Through monologues, movement pieces, songs, rap numbers & scenes, all written by the men themselves, the Men in Blue revealed personal stories. There was the former landscaper who shared about the time white folks hired his team sight unseen – only to be surprised when they showed up “in color.” There was the man who heard a divine voice telling him to visit his sick mother RIGHT THEN, a directive he was grateful he followed when he receive the call at 5 am the next morning that she was gone. There was the fellow who’d led an affair with two women simultaneously, a situation that ended badly & left him reflecting many years over his negative treatment of women – and issuing an apology on stage. There was the guy whose wife knifed him in the chest during an episode when their inner raging children had explosively come to the fore. And there was insane humor – the transgendered queen who was claiming her throne at San Quentin, the singer who’d spontaneously break into song when inspired by a woman, the buddies susceptible to female charms & cruising at parties & clubs with flowery seduction. We laughed as hard as we cried.
View videos of San Quentin productions of Shakespeare & Life Story Theater here!
Epic Stories & Eternal Remorse
Later I spoke with one of the men about how he’d landed in prison. He’d been a grad student at the time, with a drinking problem & a gun in his car used at the shooting range. One night, one random altercation in the parking lot of a bar, one impulsive trigger pull, one irreversible fatality. A mama’s boy from a foreign country, he found himself thrown into an even more alien land. In shame & without explanation, he cut ties with his extended family & girlfriend. His first ten years were spent in a severe guilt & self-loathing he took out on others. But he taught himself meditation & tai chi. And he has finally found his center. Still, he says, he feels terrible remorse every day, sorrow for the victim and his family. His mother is now dying, and he hasn’t seen her since 1997. I realized: All of the men’s stories are that epic. 
What Can We Do?
Bear in mind that San Quentin has a robust roster of 3000 volunteers. They’re one of the more progressive correctional facilities. Many prisons in California – & everywhere – are less fortunate. Whether it’s San Quentin or another, find out how you may bring your gifts inside. There will be a volunteer coordinator or staff person who’s open to working with you. We could also do well to raise our awareness about what needs to transform in our prison system & society at large so that we may turn prisons into true healing places – and eventually not need such holding pens at all. And, of course, the epic journey to improve the world begins with the step to heal our own personal pain. We all need – & deserve – so much healing. I’m shown that if everyone focused on that wholeheartedly & completely, the planet would change radically & quickly.
Love,
Marguerite
How You Can Help
Want to link theater & social justice? Suraya Keating, the Shakespeare for Social Justice Director for Marin Shakespeare Company, and company managing director Lesley Currier dream up ways to expand the use of Shakespeare & Life Story Theater to help those touched by incarceration, as well as members of other marginalized groups. They’ve expanded into Solano State Prison & County Community School for at-risk youth. Their next dream? Bringing together at-risk youth with folks recently released from prison to perform Shakespeare & Life Story Theater. If you’re interested in donating or learning more about this program, contact Suraya here.
View videos of San Quentin productions of Shakespeare & original theater here!
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Feeling generous? Donate to San Quentin News, CA’s only inmate-run newspaper & a valuable source of info for the men, who have no access to the Web or outside resources. The paper is expanding so that it may reach every CA state inmate. Visit here, click on Support, go to the bottom of the paragraph & click “Here.” A spare $40 will get you 12 monthly issues. Great paper; chock full of news relevant to the prison system & social justice.
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Want to help prevent incarceration? Help homeless youth with personal care items.
The San Quentin Kid C.A.T. program, founded by men who grew up in prison & have matured into a community that cares for others, is under way with its next Hygiene Drive to help at-risk youth. The program is collecting the following hygiene items, which will be distributed to various non-profits in San Francisco that serve homeless youth: Deodorant Body Wash Floss or floss picks Shampoo Conditioner Hand Sanitizer Toothbrushes Toothbrush containers Toothpaste Loofas Feminine Hygiene Items Hair Brushes Socks Drop off your products Dec 13, 10 am – noon, First Presbyterian Church, 1510 Fifth Ave, San Rafael, CA. They’ll accept cash donations if you don’t have the time to shop! For more info contact Dolan Beaird here.