The wild ride continues. Boredom, fear, rage, frustration, worry may be cycling for you in & around gratitude, hope, the sweetness of simplicity & more. One day up, one day down. One week up, one week down.

The questions continue: How long must we endure this? Where is this all headed? What is the true truth, and when will it be revealed so that we can throw off this oppressive THING?

My own journey into PTSD has gone deeply these last few weeks as, under the imposed semi-isolation, the wounding of my lifetime has [once again? once and for all?] beckoned me to stop, look & listen. I’ve been working with simple yet profound time-jumping activities a friend has offered me to bring healing to pivotal moments. I do feel that I’m changing the landscape of those events in significant ways. Thankfully. I hope.

Corresponding with the difficult collective energies, in an attempt to penetrate ever deeper into what’s really going on I’ve also once again been traversing the lower astral plane to see what might be brewing. I’ve had to digest & transform all this as best I can through my body, mind & spirit. Part of the transmuting involved realizing that after about seven days straight of validating but painful YouTube broadcasts, I simply needed to take a break from them.

It has not been easy, either as a person or as an oracle. Maybe you, intuitive one, are going through something similar?

And this brings me to today’s topic…

Love.

Yes, in the US it’s Valentine’s Day, that delightful and dreaded commercial holiday that inevitably provokes us to ask: Do I have a true, mad, deep Valentine? Or a wet noodle one? Or a yes and no one? Or none at all?

And, whether we give it thought or not, somewhere in our psyche this day brings us in contact with all the programmings about romantic love that we’ve grown up with.

What Is Love, Really?

I myself am going through hills & valleys with love, as I face the intensity of people close to me who are doing, saying & believing things I’m not in agreement with ~ and as I imagine what I sense may be their judgment of me as well.

I’m also being given the opportunity to look at romantic love behaviors. Mine, and others’. How am I still having immature expectations or playing into games? When have I truly loved? To what degree is our notion of love really about the grabbing of energies we never got enough of to begin with?

This quiet time is an intense reckoning time. I keep realizing again & again that we’re hooked at the level of our trauma. The static in our fields regarding our attitudes toward others is in direct proportion with the level of unsafety we experienced as children.

Getting Off the Cycle

So, can I, can we, use this time to clear, heal, transmute, and forge a new kind of love? The kind of love that we intellectually know is the right way? The New Earth, 5th Dimensional love?

As teachers from the past couple of decades have reminded us: There’s actually no one else out there. Romantic love, any kind of love, is an inside job. How we feel about ourselves is how we love others ~ and how they love us.

Matt Kahn also reminded me this week: The degree of safety we feel around others reflects how safe we feel with ourselves. When are we there for ourselves & when are we abandoning ourselves?

This means all love comes back to self-love.

So here’s what I’m going to do to be my own best Valentine today. See if it’s useful to you:

– In the morning, I’m going to enjoy Mama Cacao with a friend to come back to my heart, to my sense of relaxation.
– I’m going to be mindful about my thoughts all day. Every time I have a critical thought about myself, I’m going to come in with a thought of appreciation about myself. Yes, I CAN do this for 12 hours!
– Every time I have a critical thought about someone else, I’m going to come in with a thought of what I appreciate about that person. Ditto about yes I can!
– I’m going to write myself a love letter.
– Whatever arises in my emotions, I’m going to put my hand on my heart and tell myself “I love you.”
– Later in the day, I’m going to do something adventurous. I’m going to have my first piano lesson in about 48 years, with an old-time world-class musician. Yes, time to crack open that childhood piano that I acquired on the passing of my father last fall.

Are there things you can do today to deepen your self-love (whether you’ll also be celebrating with a partner or not)? How about:

• Calling on Spirit to infuse your heart with love today?
• Starting the day with inspiring music?
• Cracking out a recipe book and cooking a special or new meal?
• Having a conversation with Mother Mary about how you can feel more love every day?
• Lighting incense and letting it fill your living space?
• Gathering natural flowers if you’re in a climate where they grow?
• Being gentle and tender with yourself emotionally?
• Having a walk in a place you love ~ or a place you’ve never gone before?
• Giving yourself some kind of treat, be it a sweet, or a new something-or-other that brings beauty to your life?
• Staring in the mirror and telling yourself “I love you” until you believe it?
• Driving somewhere interesting where you can browse stores and see others?
• Mailing yourself your own love letter, so that you receive it later this week?
• Physically going to a bookstore and buying an actual paperback novel and curling up to read it (and getting that new recipe book)?
• Purchasing a subscription to Gaia TV and watching one of their curated, uplifting feature films?
• Making a dinner date with a friend for later this week?
• Working with your yoni egg if you don’t have a lover to cozy up with?
• Starting to plan a garden in your yard?
• Lighting a special candle in honor of self-love today?

And you might come up with other ideas of what self-love might look like for you today… regardless of what else may be going on.

May these musings provide you with some validation and inspiration for your own journey at this intense time.