Last month I had a profound rebirth experience through my own holy womb chakra. This remarkable bodily and spiritual journey took me through a deeper initiation into the love of the Blessed Mother Mary. This story may be comforting to many who are seeking relief from the personal & collective “grand crisis” we seem to be finding ourselves in. I can think of no better time of year to share it than December, the season when many of us turn our attention to Mary as we contemplate her role in bringing Divine Light to the world.

The backdrop for this journey was a laparoscopic procedure I had several weeks ago to remove a benign ovarian cyst I’ve carried for 15 years. A recent ultrasound had revealed that over the past 2 years it had become significantly larger & I knew my body was asking for release of this energy. More than that, I recognized the call from my body/mind/spirit to reduce stress & seek greater balance in my life.

Advocating for My Womb

The decision to have surgery was one I arrived at reluctantly, however, preferring the old healing methods of Atlantis that did not require cutting into the body. I was terrified at the thought of having my consciousness put in stasis under anesthesia, with the accompanying “lost time” and “memory swipe,” and having my womb surgically invaded. There are probable reasons for the latter that I won’t go into at this time, but suffice it to say I may be carrying “repressed memories” of something else that occurred in my life.

The first threshold I had to cross was in advocating for the preservation of my womb aside from the cyst. The first 3 practitioners I spoke with told me that it was typical in surgeries for postmenopausal women to simply snip off both Fallopian tubes & ovaries – for “prevention.”

I was utterly horrified that the medical establishment was considering any part of the holy womb chakra as disease-prone and/or dispensable – at ANY age. I had to adamantly insist with all practitioners that I wanted only the cyst removed. Although it was very uncomfortable, I had stand up for myself & part ways with my first chief surgeon because clearly we were not seeing eye to eye. I knew from various sources that it was very important to trust your surgeon, given how intimately they will be involved with your body.

After much anxiety & the postponement of my initial surgery date, I was thankfully able to select a wonderful, personable & talented new surgeon who agreed to all of my requests.

Emotional & Energetic Preparation

I began readying myself at least a month before the procedure by reading the book Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster, by Peggy Huddleston, and by listening to her guided relaxation meditation daily.

I had met Peggy when I lived in the Boston area several decades ago; we were briefly in a women’s group together. She had revealed to us that although the book is filled with science, it was given to her by her angelic guides. So I had deep trust in it & knew I’d call upon it if ever I needed surgery.

Her book helped me realize that the surgical process can be an opportunity for healing on many levels, and that with my tending to these various aspects, the healing was already beginning.

My clairvoyant mentor helped me understand that the cyst was carrying deep pain related to the losses in my life, and that with the surgery this energy would be lifted & would mark a new era for me. Thus I began to truly embrace the process.

Bracing for a “clash of worlds” as I nervously approached my medical team with special requests prompted by Peggy’s book, I nonetheless stayed brave & asked that my surgeon & anesthesiologist read Peggy’s special healing statements as I was “going under” & when the surgery was concluded. I had learned from her book that the consciousness can receive them as deep hypnotic suggestions. Thankfully they were somewhat familiar with the process & agreed.

Before the surgery, I also had several energetic healing sessions with numerous wonderful friends, which helped me further prepare. The healing was indeed already beginning as I realized how blessed I was to have these loving, generous & talented people in my life. It was an abundance of support.

The Day of Reckoning

On the day of my surgery, a dear friend got me to and from the hospital & held sacred space for me in the waiting room. She brought chicken bone broth for me to eat in days following the procedure, plus lots of supportive love & guidance.

Five women happily agreed to hold a meditative vigil at their altars for half hour slots before, during & after my surgery. Years ago, I’d been shown that having a vigil when one was in surgery was critical to the care of the soul at that vulnerable time.

Other friends agreed to follow the healing protocol from Peggy’s book, which I’d tailored to my own liking: At the start of the surgery time I asked them to see me wrapped in a blanket of gold & rose light, held in the arms of the Blessed Mother, and filled with the energies of Love & Peace. This had a huge effect, as you will see.

Yet other friends agreed to stay with me day & night the first few days after my surgery.

The sense of community as a result of all this was, as it turned out, a significant part of the healing – realizing how many wonderful & loving people were truly available to me helped me to release a sense of isolation I have experienced for much of my life.

The Ancestors Visit Me in Pre-op

From the minute I got to the hospital, I was thankfully embraced & reassured. The downstairs receptionist was loving & put me at ease, and the pre-op waiting room receptionist was named Mary, so I already knew that the Blessed Mother was there. The woman was very kind.

As I removed normal clothes & put on the hospital gown in the antiseptic changing room, I began realizing how deeply I had held the trauma I imagine my mother to have experienced 46 years ago in the hospital where she died, and I saw that I was going to enact her last day on earth. This was unexpected, but I recalled Peggy saying in her book that we can be holding things like this for our parents. It was unsettling but all I could do was move through it.

Luckily, getting to the gurney for pre-op check in was very positive. There was a group of four staff standing there as my name was read, and immediately one of them, keying into my last name, started speaking in Italian to me. From there, they all started making a big thing about my Italian heritage. It was very unlike California. The woman who was inserting an IV told me that she was going to Italy & she wanted my recommendations of where to go.

I was wondering: Why all this distraction when I was trying to focus on bracing myself for what was ahead?

Several times, the other medical technician began spontaneously bursting into Andrea Bocelli songs. At first I was annoyed, but on the second or third time it hit me: All of this Italian business was a sign that my ancestor, my Grandma Elena, was there with me!

Grandma had always been extremely proud of our Italian heritage. It was part of her very life mission to have us all know our Italian ancestors & relatives, speak Italian & visit Italy. Bocelli and Pavarotti were gods to her. She talked about them all the time, and I had given my Grandmother a Bocelli CD one year.

The “Italy focus” as people buzzed around me was so over the top that I couldn’t miss it! I was in awe, because never before had I felt an ancestor so strongly at a time of need.

Later my Aunt Elizabeth told me that she had prayed to my Grandmother and Mother for them to be there with me.

The technician was Asian but his Italian accent singing was so good that I asked if he were at all Italian, and he said his great grandfather had been from Palermo! So with that, I realized that my father’s father Luciano was also with me!

As I lay there with my page of healing statements for the surgical team on top of my gown, the staff sent a person over who specializes in visualization. He assured me that he would read the healing statements before the surgery, yes, all FIVE TIMES REQUIRED, taking my request seriously. My surgeon came & assured me she would read the end-of-surgery statements. This was a huge relief to me. Third dimension had meet fifth dimension, and all was going as hoped.

With all of this good cheer & ancestral presence, I found myself in a blessed, open-hearted state. The loving care of the staff was a huge healing for me around the health care system, which I have held anger toward for not having been able to save my mother 46 years ago. I truly felt them as the healers they were & let them know. They told me they appreciated that, saying they don’t receive that feedback often.

In a state of enormous gratitude, I was wheeled into the surgical room. That’s when things got very intense for me. Stripped like Inanna, nearly naked, with no jewelry or makeup, my hair in a messy pony tail, my garlicky breath threatening to exude past the mouthwash they’d given me, fearful that I might excrete something unpleasant when unconscious, I faced the masked & suited team before me.

I thought: What am I doing, I’m agreeing to put my life in these people’s hands, have them remove my consciousness from my body, stick a breathing tube in my throat & a catheter in my urethra, and cut me open? But the die was cast and there was no turning back. I had to go through with it. It’s the most courageous thing I’ve ever done, surrendering into the arms of others like this.

As they transferred me to the operating table, put an oxygen mask on me & enacted the medical ritual of speaking aloud what the procedure would entail, each one ticking off their part, I could hear my heart racing on the monitor, in loud stereo, revealing how frightened I was.

I felt as though I were reliving my mother’s last moments on earth as her heartbeat went erratic & then flatlined.

The surgeon instructed the man to begin the healing statements. As he removed an earbud, which was connected to my iPhone playing “Ambient” music from Pandora, I thought: O jeez, this is it, they must be administering the anesthesia, I’ll be going under. I was terrified. I heard him say in my ear: “After this procedure, you will feel comfortable & you will heal very….”

A River of Love

I was next aware of an intense flood of LOVE, feeling the VERY REAL & STRONG presence of the Blessed Mother & of Grandma Elena & Grandpa Luciano.

The same song from Pandora was playing in my ears but I was in a different place behind a curtain, wondering when the procedure would happen.

I was in a completely oracular space, and I felt I wanted to radiate love to everyone around me.

I was burping & someone around me asked if I were nauseous, but I said no. I was in state of totally awed love.

On some level I wondered, wait, is it over? But all I kept feeling & saying was “All there is, is love! I kept trying to call people near me so that I could hold their hands and send the love out to them. But no one was hearing me so I contented myself with beaming love into the room.

Eventually the nurse bent over to me & said: You’re in the recovery room now. Your surgery has gone very well.

Intellectually I was grasping it, but I had to hold onto the bed frame hard & say out loud: “OK, I need to come back into my body, I’m coming back into my body.” Because before the surgery, one of my healers had helped me to create a protected bubble where my consciousness could go during the procedure, and she had connected it to a golden cord to my crown. So now I had to slide back in. It was a truly uncanny experience. Totally trippy.

I realized that I had gone through what felt like a profound death/rebirth experience INTO LOVE, and that in some way I’d never be the same. I thought with awe: Oh my goodness, who knew this is what the surgery on my Holy Womb Chakra was going to be all about! What a blessing!

I also realized I had experienced a healing around the medical profession regarding my mother, who had not woken up back on the earth plane.

I tried to explain all this to the nurse, as I insisted on holding her hand & streaming the love to her. She received it as best she could. She told me that they had administered ketamine in the OR, so I realized that the drug facilitated my altered state. I had gotten be an oracle for the entire process!

I also received the message that if I wanted to, I could heal up from the surgery in an instant.

The healing statements had worked. I was comfortable and my bodily functions were working well.

Later I realized that the love I was experiencing was a direct result of the specific prayers & visualizations my wonderful friends had been requested to send: See me wrapped in a blanket of gold & rose light, held in the arms of the Blessed Mother, and filled with the energies of Love & Peace.

The entire experience also made me realize that a dream I’d had a few weeks before surgery had been pre-cognitive, predicting everything that would happen just as it did. This was also a cause of awe for me.

The nurse said I’d been awake when I came out of the surgery at 3 pm, but I had no memory of it. The first awareness was of that river of love at 3:30 pm.

Time was moving fast from 3:30 to 4:30 or 5 when I left, and I realize that part of the way anesthesia works is that it creates time anomalies in your system. Very uncanny.

Mary Remothers Me

There are a preponderance of Marys in this story. Mary the receptionist. Maria the surgeon. Marie my mother. I even found out that my surgeon’s mother’s name is Mary.

This synchronicity was an example of the presence of Blessed Mother Mary all throughout the journey.

It started out one of the first nights I was reading Peggy Huddleston’s book. She described being terrified facing surgery herself & realizing that she was holding the trauma of her mother’s surgery years before.

I realized then that I was holding not only the trauma of my mother’s hospital stay, but also traumas that she had not been able to heal during her lifetime.

I began to cry like a child, to feel the deep terror & unfathomable grief that I experienced when she died – in a way I hadn’t since I was 10 years old.

I thought to myself: What can ever heal me from this, it is so deep? Not even my mother’s presence could heal me from this because my mother herself was vulnerable in life – and I’ve sensed that even on the other side she has still been grappling & has not been fully available. All of my dreams about her have been about her “living somewhere else in a weakened state.”

How would this wound ever heal – for either of us?

Seeking a higher solution, I went into my Oracle state. I received the presence of the Blessed Mother. She said: I am the Mother who Mothers all. I am here to heal both of you. Just ask. That is how this will be healed for both of you.

I had received this message about being “remothered” by the Blessed Mother two years ago, but now I was receiving it on a new level, and I knew that I really needed to make a commitment to receiving this healing.

Since the surgery, in medicine ceremonies I have received the message that the Blessed Mother is one of the manifestations available to humans on the planet of “the Deva of Perfect Mothering.” Through meditations & intention, anyone who wants can be completely remothered in a perfect way by her.

It is this remothering energy that is so needed on our planet by now, for what human could not benefit by perfect mothering coming from the realm of the Goddess & Masters?

I’ve also received the message that one of the reasons I agreed to lose my mother an early age in this lifetime was so that I would be catapulted into a very real experience of this Deva of Perfect Mothering, and her healing potential on the planet. So although I have not had children myself, I can be a conduit or assistant in helping others receive perfect mothering.

As a result of this remarkable journey, I’ve decided that experiencing the healing of perfect mothering will be the focus of my upcoming event Have Yourself a Mary Solstice – Global Online Ceremony of Divine Feminine Love on Dec 22. You can read more about that & find the link for joining us here. I hope you will be with us to receive this blessing!

This connection with the Blessed Mother – with her true essence as a healer for our world, not her diminished & passive image associated with formal religion – marks a deepening of my life & work. I look forward to continuing on this path & bringing it forth in service to you.

With love,
Dove