My Deeply Personal Story
This is a difficult confession, one that’s probably not a revelation to anyone who knows me, but one I must speak out loud: I have been angry with men. I have attempted to constructively turn my well-founded rage into a career focusing on naming & healing the wounding of women by men & and resurrecting the Goddess & women’s power. But now, it’s time…
As I come into my second half-century on the planet, my inner self is calling for a truce, for peace, for genuine reconciliation between the Masculine & the Feminine.
And as I look about me, it seems that I am part of a larger flow that is happening in the feminist & spirituality movements –– and in the men’s movement as well. It’s more than high time to move from battle to bridging.
What I’ve come to is this: The world will be healed as we heal our relationships, one woman and man at a time.
For under my expertise on the socio-cultural-political-historical waves & streams that have led to women’s disempowerment, here’s what my beef comes down to: My father’s emotional abandonment of me after the death of my mother when I was 10 years old, the inability of other male elders to be consistently nurturing, and the bullying and rejection by boys in adolescence over my not measuring up to conventional standards of beauty. These are tender, tender confessions.
How many women can identify?
How many of us, when not abandoned or neglected by our fathers or other male elders, have been violated by them? How many of us have felt judged about our looks to the point of having our self-esteem shattered? Patriarchy and politics aside, it is these very personal core wounds that continue to run our lives.
It is these wounds that need to be cleaned, salved, bandaged, loved & given a chance to heal. Of course, men have received wounding from elder men –– and women –– in their lives, as well. Under the current regime of intergenerational pain, no one wins. So, it’s time…
In the last two weeks, by dint of some kind of divine timing, the traumas of my childhood have resurfaced with emotions attached to them that I have fled from for decades but are now demanding to be felt.
I pledge:
• to feel the full gale force of those awful feelings, knowing that as I do, I alchemically transform them
• to use all the means & support available to heal myself, knowing that as I do, I heal the world
• to take responsibility for the many ways I have acted toward men from a wounded place, knowing that as I do so, I help clear karmic injury that goes far back into history
• to heal my relationship with my Father, all men, and the Divine Masculine, knowing that as I do, I help the Goddess reconcile with the God and the Universe to come to peace.
With love,
Marguerite